Do Not Despair

"Patiently accept your falls and, having stood up, immediately run to God, not remaining in that place where you have fallen. Do not despair if you keep falling into your old sins.” - St. Nektarios of Aegina

The ball is in your team’s possession as you play a game of American football. You’re at the 20 yard line with 80 yards to go until you score a touchdown. You’re one of the receivers on the team. The ball gets snapped to the quarterback catches and he looks for an open receiver. He spots you and passes the ball over the line of scrimmage and you see it coming it right for you. In that moment, you look around you and see you’re covered by a cornerback. You jump to receive the ball, but he jumps to make you fail. And you fail to catch the football.

You hang your head and walk back to the 20 yard line and the quarterback wants to try a sweep this time. Second down, the ball gets snapped and handed to you. They opposing team knows the play and can you see you trying to sweep around to the right. The linebacker meets you on the side and knocks you off your feet. That tackle hurt knocking the wind out of you. You take a moment and then you stand back up. Your head is up, but inside you’re starting to sense that you’re not good at this game.

Third down, 13 yards to go, and you’re going to run it through the center. The football gets snapped and handed to you, but the opposing team sees you coming and pushes you back with ferocity before finally tackling you to the ground. They taunt you as you lie face up. Fourth down and 18 yards to go. Your gut tells you that you aren’t going to win because you keep failing to make any ground. They know your every move and they are ready to hit you hard.

Fourth down. Does coach want us to punt? No, he doesn’t. He wants us to try a pass. This seems dangerous cause if the quarterback gets sacked back here, they’ll be just a few yards from scoring a touchdown on us once they are in possession of the ball. You shake your head in disbelief, you already have thrown away the play before it happens, and you fail to complete the pass. You knew it all along and you should have punted the ball back to the opposing team instead of making such a risky play on the fourth down. Coach was wrong. You’re gonna lose this game is what you keep telling yourself.

The opposing team taunts you because you have failed time and time again. You feel like a real loser and despair that the rest of this game isn’t even worth playing anymore. You walk with the football in your hand to turn it over to the opposing team, but the referee runs up to you to intervene. He prevents you from giving them the ball, but you explain that your team didn’t make up the yardage and get a first down. You explain to him that the rules of the game is that they take possession of the football now. The referee tells you,

“There is no fourth down. There is no turnover on downs. You are always in possession of the ball and it’s up to you to struggle, to persevere, to endure, and by God’s grace to overcome them. Haven’t you noticed it yet? You are the wide receiver. You are the running back. And your team wants to help you.”

You walk back to your team to huddle in bewilderment. In the huddle you look at their faces and you see the faces of your brothers and sisters in Christ, you see your spiritual father, you see the faces of angels and saints who have gone before you. They are always going to help you in this spiritual field, but you have to try too. In the huddle they tell you,

“Do not despair.”

You’ve had a revelation as you go back into formation. You look at the defense and you see the faces of all the things you struggle with in your life. They want to stop you from making any spiritual progress. They look at you fiercely determined to prevent you from moving closer to Christ. You look at your team and they are mouthing words of encouragement. The ball is snapped to the quarterback and you make a run for it. The opposing team sees your determination this time and sends double coverage your way. You run past the line of scrimmage and look back over your shoulder. You’re double covered, but you don’t listen to their taunts, their footsteps, or their intimidations. The quarterback throws a perfect pass right into your hands. You overcame them this time and the wind rushes under your helmet and elbows as you run. And you keep your eyes on that end zone and you run.

No more despair, no more giving in, no more giving up. You can do this.