The Cave

Matthew 11:12 - From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.

In the darkness of the night, he climbed towards the mountaintop to where the light never ceased to shine. The light on the mountain of mercy was from a church and it’s light could not be quenched by the pressing darkness. His heart led him to climb higher and higher to reach it. Upon nearing the summit, he decided to find rest and saw a nearby cave that was darker still.

Stepping into the cave, immediately it was illumined by light. He descended down the steps and continued deeper until. To his dismay, he saw that his shoes had acquired much mud along the journey. These were far too unclean to take into the church, so he had to do something about it before he dared to set foot in the church. In the depths of this cave, there was a natural fountain with flowing water, he began rinsing his shoes and standing with his bare feet on the rock.

Layer after layer of mud was washed off of his shoes, but it seemed to be endless. No matter how hard he tried, he could not remove it entirely on his own. The thought then occurred to him that he was too dirty to venture into the church and he should leave this place and try again another time. However, this didn’t seem like wise counsel. If he left, he would no doubt acquire more mud on the journey back down. Should he ever attempt to return, he would once again return with even more mud than before. No, it seemed like that it had to be now.

He kept scrubbing and finally resigned himself to the fact that he could not wash away all the mud. When he looked down to put on his shoes again, he was horrified to see his pants were just as muddy. He then began to carefully scrub the mud marks on his clothes, but these stains weren’t going to come out. Sigh. There is mud on his shirt, on his coat, on his hands. What if he caused other people to become mud-stained because of what he tracked in to the church. Oh, this thought he could not suffer, he had to be clean, he must be clean. He could not endure the thought of leading someone into mud.

He put on his shoes and was about to leave the cave when he decided to rinse his face. As he cupped the water in his hands, he saw his reflection in the water like a mirror and indeed his face had been darkened with the marks of mud. His horrors had been revealed to him and he fled the cave. The light of the church called to him and his feet thudded across the sand colored stones as he ran. Terror attacked his soul that he was one of the five virgins who was locked out of the banquet and he ran quicker. With fervent prayers that the Lord would not shut him out and that the doors of repentance would be open to him. His prayers were heard and he opened the doors and entered the church.

He went inside the church reverently maintaining composure and knelt on the marble floors facing the altar. The time in the cave had shown him who he really was inside and out. He shuddered at the sight of the man he had become in both thought and deed. Lifting up his heart to Christ and with bitter burning tears he said, “Νίψον ἀνομήματα, μὴ μόναν ὄψιν. Wash my sins, not only my face.” His heart was broken before the Lord and crying out for His purifying grace.

In the dimly lit church, he crossed himself in awe of God. There were angelic chants to his left and his right. There was the smell of heavenly incense as the priests censed the altar and offered up prayers to God. His eyes rested on the icon of Christ as he awaited the opportunity to partake of the Holy Communion and he contemplated how he wanted to be like Christ; no longer as the man he saw in the cave’s revelatory self-reflection. He opened his mouth and received the mystery of True Food and True Drink and all of his senses were engaged in worship of the Most High God.

He wanted nothing from Christ, but Christ. To be like Him. To be with Him.